A Must Read!!!

I'm cranky today.
I'm always cranky when I've finished writing a novel, when it's no longer mine but my publisher's.
It's because I feel useless. Unamused. Bored.
And that's the time when I dawdle around on Pinterest, and read posts and comments on Facebook that I'd normally ignore.

Are you on twitter? Facebook? Pinterest?
Have you noticed how certain terms have come into fashion to catch the reader's attention?
I mean these here:

It blew my mind
To die for
A must-read!
Awesome!
Thought-provoking
Adorable!!!

I mean, REALLY? A poached egg on toast recipe BLEW YOUR MIND? Your mind must be a pretty wispy thing then. It's only an egg on bread, for crying out loud.
What are you going to say if an alien spaceship lands on Times Square? If you blow your mind on a squishy egg and a knitting pattern is to die for, what are you going to say when the really awesome stuff happens?

Another favorite is "a must-read". I can't even begin to wrap my mind around this.
I can see why the Bible is a "must-read" for anyone who wants to be a Christian. I can also see why, if you buy a new computer or DVD recorder, it might be a good thing to RTFM. But no novel in the whole wide world is a "must-read", and yes, that includes my own.

Awesome - a friend of mine, Charity, picked that one apart not so long ago. here's the gist of what she said:
"Cake isn't awesome. Shoes aren't awesome. The universe is awesome. I'm in AWE of the universe, but not of a frigging cake."
Good point, isn't it?

And so we come to thought-provoking.
Seriously? You need a pic of a baby with a smart caption to turn on your brain? You need one of those many psychedelic images on Facebook you make you think?
Dude, I have news. The real life is what's happening around you, not in your computer. Think about that, for a change.

Oh, and adorable?
I don't "adore" a kitten, or a smiling baby. I adore God. End of story.

Thank you for listening. I'll now go back to writing a book.