Tuesday, August 10, 2010

On Being A Dame


As of today, I'm not afeared of getting old anymore, and here is why.

There are just too many old biddies out there having the time of their life, and why should I not be one of them. First of all, it seems imperative that there are PLENTY of pink and purple things to decorate myself with. Because no matter which Dame Seniore I look at, pink is always there, either in lipstick, clothing, pearls, wallpaper, champagne or Gin. There are even  pink purses available (don't I know it!!!!).

Feather boa!!! I knew there was something missing! And maybe some hair extensions too so  my hair can look as ravishing as the one and only Miss Piggy's.... but there's a dream that will not work out I'm sure. Also, who knows if her frog will ever fall in love with more than one rotund Piggy Dame.... nah.

On the other hand, if I practice the proper "wave" maybe I'll be given a pink Rolls..... well equipped with said pink Gin.



And  being a Dame Royale, they would have to keep me filled up if I wanted that, right? On the other hand, I'd have to wear pantyhose all the time for that, and always behave decorously and smile and sit up straight.... nah. BUT they would iron the newspaper for me....  This needs some careful consideration. Also, I could live in London all the time, and I love London. And I could order Thai take out every day, no matter how insulted the Royal Cooks would be. And I could order around the Horse Guards and race down Pall Mall in my pink Rolls and shoo the tourists. AND I could demand Neil Diamond for a private concert   -  at my whim. Possibilities.....

Can't tell about the pink if I were a Dame Criminale.



Seems like life has to be pretty much black and white so as to be not too conspicuous. I *think* I recall this particular Dame wearing a mauve bouquet in her cleavage at some point, but that may have been my wishful imagination.

So where does that leave us? No pantyhose, no make up, eat what you want, use as much pink in every aspect of your life, never let the gin run dry and shoo around as many tourists as you like.  And hey, get yourself a Neil Diamond ticket the next time he comes around.

That's all, pretty much. Summing it up, I think I'll be Dame Generale and just have the fun